<3

...and then she clasped hands with her bruised sensuality and fled into the night

A quick post from work...I'm such a rebel, I know. BUT, I've realized that I function best while multi-multi-tasking and right now I am doing about 5 things work-related and felt that I needed one non-work-related "task" to balance out my multi-taskingness...makes sense to me!

First, the title of this post just flitted across my mind, out of nowhere. I wanted to write it down somewhere so that wouldn't forget. I think it's the start of something.

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I got a wonderful package in the mail this morning and am truly touched. Thank you, thank you. Very special and I am looking forward to digging into the delicious poetry tonight :)

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NC was great! My skin is officially 02384756 shades darker (from being in the sun for about 3 hours...it's a little ridiculous how responsive my skin is to that star) and perpetually HOT. It was nice to change up the environment for a few days, be with family, ride bikes, lie on the sand, play with a precious little pup who still has that unmistakable puppy smell, etc.

AND, it feels good to be back in this city I call home. Actually, other than VT, this is the first place that really feels like home to me...and that's a good feeling.

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This is pretty hilarious:


http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/4/20lanham.html


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Swine flu is frightening. The subway= a fricking swine flu incubator.

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Just miiiiight have to go to this:



http://www.bowerypoetry.com/#Event/67946

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Oh ya, tonight I am going to a Jhumpra Lahiri reading at Union Square, yay!

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Songs that have been stuck in my head during the past few days:

"Material Girl", Madonna
"La Bamba", I don't know and don't feel like googling it, but you know the one
"Secret Heart", Feist

And they just keep rotating, basically. Kind of annoying...I've been trying to toss some different ones in the mix, but they just won't stick...

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Ideas are like fish...

http://dlf.tv/2009/ideas-are-like-fish/

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Ok, back to work!

<3

'tis true that I love this place!

Vor allem eins, mein Kind, sei treu und wahr,

lass nie die Luge deinen Mund entweihen...

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About to begin packing for a weekend trip to the Southern region of our delightful country.  It'll be nice to be around good people and have a little break.  I realized the other day that I haven't left the city since early January!  Eek!  As much as I love the city, a gal needs a break every so often... so good.

So, for my 5 (ish) dedicated readers, no blog posts 'til next week...

Oh, Saturday night is a new moon.  I shall be gazing at night from the sands of a balmy beach.

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Strange thing happened on the way back from work today.  I was walking toward the good ol' 6 train and right as I crossed the street and man ran up toward me and goes, "Miss!  Where do you get your haircut?"  and I, being in a very "no B.S." kind of mood, said, "Seriously?  I potentially have the world's most boring haircut."  

Anyway, ends up this guy just opened up a kickass salon on 5th avenue and wants "beautiful girls" (ha! He said I have a "very unique look that drew him right in"...this guy knows how to work an angle) to help promote and do a few Friday events.  I was not feeling it until he mentioned free hair/face/body services for 6 months and free booze at the events (w/ DJs, fashion designers, etc.).  So...yes, I'm doing it.  And the guy it totally legit, too.  I had him (and his two co-workers) show me their business cards, give me a salon brochure (which I later googled and found, to my delight, it's an actual place), etc.  So, yay!  Just to let a couple guys take a stab at my hair and go to a few events, I get free services for 6 months.  Massage?  Um, yes please!

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"Lullaby 101"-- Kris Delmhorst

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Exciting!  I've been meaning to read "Olive Kitteridge" for a while... I guess i'll have to stick it somewhere in between the 12 books I actually have to read

http://www.pulitzer.org/awards/2009

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I think I've decided where I'm moving in August.  Manhattan still...but a much more Julia-esque area.  And I've also decided that in 2-3 years I will probably transition over to Brooklyn.

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Everyday I look around and realize how lucky I (we) are.

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A couple friends and I are searching for a good [cheap] cooking class in the city...feel free to toss out any suggestions!  I must confess, I've done zero research thus far, but I think we'll find something great.  

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"Is there any particular reason you're returning these items?"

"Um, yes.  General awkwardness...upon wearing."

HAHA, oh man...

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So many things to write, but I still have so much to do tonight and want to actually sleep a little before the plane ride...promise to be more exciting next week.  Ok, maybe not exciting, but prolific.

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And I now present to you the world's most ineloquent, raw "poem" [caution: explicit words will pop up on your screen...if that offends you, kindly click the little red X on the upper corner of this window]

But I couldn’t

In the midst
Of my hurt,
Rage, heart,
Indifference,
Absence,Insistence,
Everything
You; I
Was going
To write
A poem
Called Fuck
You.
I was going
To say things


Like:
Fuck you for doing this to me.
Fuck you for this pain.
Fuck you for making me care.
Fuck you for letting me fall.
Fuck you for being such a good liar.

Fuck you for doing it so much.

Fuck you for denying me.
Fuck you for hiding me.
Fuck you for making me question myself.
Fuck you for not telling me.
Fuck you for never caring enough.
Fuck you for coming over uninvited and
Fuck you for not doing it sooner.
Fuck you for being so dense.
Fuck you for making me feel like I’m not good enough.
Fuck you for not knowing me.

Fuck you for not letting me know you.
Fuck you for shutting me out.
Fuck you for letting me peer in.
Fuck you for being everything and nothing.

Fuck you for making me walk the tightrope.
Fuck you for making me say “fuck you” so many times.
Fuck you for spewing out empty words.
Fuck you for making me feel bad about writing this.

Fuck you for not giving a fuck.

But I didn’t write that poem.
Because
I could never say those things
To you.
Because the last thing
I’d ever want to do
Is hurt you.

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[___________]

This can be our swing set

Let's Find A Swing Set in the Middle of a Vacant Beach and Call it Ours; We'll Swing Side by Side in the Middle of the Night, Tasting the Breeze As It Whispers by Our Faces and Through Our Fingers; We're Going Up, Down, Back, Forth, Together.

And we won't 

Say a word.

We'll just be

Together.

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"Loafe with me on the grass, loose the stop from your throat,
Not words, not music or rhyme I want, not custom or lecture, not
even the best,
Only the lull I like, the hum of your valved voice."

-- From Whitman's Song of Myself

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Nicht wissen warum, aber wissen wozu

A sunny Sunday with my french-pressed coffee and 30 minutes until we go to the park.  Beautiful.  So, some things to share:

* Last week I was just walking along the sidewalk...walk, walk, walk....and a man in his 60's(ish) is walking toward me and right before we passed one another he starts whistling "Moonlight in Vermont"!  I kind of stopped for a second and looked back at him. It was so great.  Maybe I was giving off a Vermont vibe.  I can only hope.  And then, a few days later I was reading in a coffee shop and the same song came on the speaker system.  A sign?  I think so.  A little trip to VT is necessary...I haven't been back since January! ah!  The crickets must miss me, and I them!  [oh ya, and those other things.  The mountains.  Only the most glorious vision in American nature]

*You MUST MUST MUST go see two things at MOMA: [as I write this my pulse quickens...that's how much I loved these two exhibits.  Both on the 6th floor.]

1.  Kippenberger!  "The Problem Perspective".  Just go.

2.  "The Tangled Alphabet", by artists Ferrari and Schendel.  Letters, words, language, semiotics, post-structuralism...oh man, it was like Heaven for someone such as myself (blush).  But really...go.  It was pretty amazing and gets better the deeper you go.  My favorite pieces were The Tower of Babel and Planet.  These are pieces you can stare at and get lost in and every time your eye shifts you discover these incredible nuances and stories...bring your eyes back to where they've been before and it looks completely different.  Yes, I shall be returning to this exhibit...several more times. 

3.  Yesterday marked the first of countless days laying in the park doing "nothing" [in doing nothing, you realize it's everything]

4.  I love when awesome people come to visit...and when you meet more awesome people through them and are then frolicking in a matrix of general awesomeness

5.  I love

6.  You love

7.  We love

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The VT captain on the ship attacked by Somalian pirates was described on NPR as such: "He's a stellar man from Vermont.  Is that a good enough description?  I don't think it gets any better than that".  True!  Stellar [wo]men from Vermont are pretty wonderful

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Looking for the perfect cookbook that has everything.  As in, the basics...but all of them.  When I cook (which is a lot, lately), I basically just use recipes to get ideas and then whip up my own original meal.  BUT, I do need to know things like how to make a basic white sauce, pie crust, etc.  "The Joy of Cooking"? Martha Stewart?  Hmmm......

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may I just say that...

I LOVE THE SUN!  I LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!  It feels so good

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Ok, time to go outside

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I know...