I must become a lion-hearted girl

In my dreams I breathe deeply beneath the water's surface.   It feels so good, calming, slow, and peaceful.

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I am so happy with everything lately.  I don't necessarily think that my immediate surroundings/activities/environment has shifted much, but I've really been living in the Now and it makes such a difference.  I am appreciating everything for what it is, everyone for who they are....expecting no more or less.  I don't analyze encounters I have with people, I don't delve into over-analytical contemplations of my life path .  It feels so healthy and light.  I am finally trusting the process, trusting the Universe and can just feel that everything is just as it should be.

Oh!  And this is the last day of the cleanse!  Weirdness is swirling about me though, get this:  I was getting pretty cranky throughout the past 3-5 days and really craving coffee, sugar, and....a frickin' sandwich.  BUT, now that I can have those things tomorrow, I don't even desire them.  This is great, speaking from the stance that those things aren't good for me, but also annoying because I was so looking fwd to satisfying such a deep desire.  Ah well.  I have to admit, I do feel really great lately, physically, and I'm sure 98% of it is due to ridding myself of so many toxins over the past 21 days.

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Off to California on Thursday!  Pretty excited.  Good, fun, loving people, crazy dancing, beautiful weather....yes please.  Not to mention that I fell in love with and purchased a delicious pair of dusk red suede pumps to go with the occasion.  And matching lipstick.  Mmm mmm mmm.  I like to get girlie once in a while, ok?

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And what is it but fragments of your own self you would discard that you may become free?


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Sending vibrant autumn leaves across the ocean.  With no letter attached.  Sometimes leaves speak better than words.

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This Young Me site rocks.  People find old photos of themselves and reinact them.  Pretty awesome.  Want to participate. And I will.

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Simon Sinek has a simple but powerful model for inspirational leadership all starting with a golden circle and the question “Why?” His examples include Apple, Martin Luther King, and the Wright brothers — and as a counterpoint Tivo, which (until a recent court victory that tripled its stock price) appeared to be struggling.



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I like hugs.  A lot lot lot








 

Wherever You Go, There You Are

Speak to us of giving

Then said a rich man, "Speak to us of Giving."

And he answered:

You give but little when you give of your possessions.

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?

And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?

And what is fear of need but need itself?

Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, thirst that is unquenchable?

There are those who give little of the much which they have - and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.

And there are those who have little and give it all.

These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.

There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.

And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.

And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;

They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.

Though the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.

It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;

And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving

And is there aught you would withhold?

All you have shall some day be given;

Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.

You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving."

The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.

They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.

Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights is worthy of all else from you.

And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.

And what desert greater shall there be than that which lies in the courage and the confidence, nay the charity, of receiving?

And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?

See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.

For in truth it is life that gives unto life - while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.

And you receivers - and you are all receivers - assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.

Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;

For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the free-hearted earth for mother, and God for father.


--The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran

And What of Marriage?

Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"

And he answered saying:

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

--The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran

Hello, hello....it's me

Hi creatures of love and all things infinite,

Suddenly life is very, very busy again! It's so interesting to me....I just had several weeks of practically no schedule and in that entire time I was not particularly inspired to write, paint, draw, create, etc. YET, now that life I hustling again, I find myself filling all of my spare moments filling pages with words dug up from the deepest craters of my innards, hanging out to dry on the lines of my moleskine while I try to makes sense of them. A spare 15 minutes means finally getting around to reading The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran, or an hour means digging my acrylics out of storage and slapping colors onto a canvas. Funny how that works, huh? I've always known that I am a person who needs some sort of routine/schedule...but it wasn't until recently that it's been so clear to me as to how that effects the activities that fill my white space.

Yay for creativity!

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Full moon tonight. Can you feel it?!

I can. Always. Always know when a full moon is around the corner. I feel the magnetic pull. We are about 80% water....it's no wonder.

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Got the most beautiful letter of my life last night. It made me nearly crumble with gratitude to have this person not only in my life, but as my brother. I walked my dog afterward in the pitch black, feeling like we didn't need a flashlight because I was still glowing from his words.

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I have so much more to share! Yet, I need to focus on a bunch of other stuff right now. Will write a real post soon...promise!

Heard this Rilke poem recited on NPR yesterday morning and it nearly brought me to tears:


Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower

by Rainer Maria Rilke; translation by Joanna Macy and Anita Barrows
Joanna Macy




Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,

what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.

In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.

And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am.






...

Reflections

Lazy Sunday eve and I am reading through some old blog posts from when I started blogging. This little gem below popped up in a Feb. 2009 post and I still 100% feel this way:


I want to be an old woman in Europe. Meaning, when I become old (70+), I refuse to turn into an American zombie. I want to create, create, create, forever. Everyday of my life I will create, in some way. And I will know that I have lived the way I want to live when my corporeal self dies and I continue to create...for years and years.

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Smiling. For many reasons. So full of gratitude.

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It's the nature of the experiment
They're taking me in increments










xOM

In honor of this cozy season

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To Autumn

by William Blake

O Autumn, laden with fruit, and stained
With the blood of the grape, pass not, but sit
Beneath my shady roof; there thou mayst rest,
And tune thy jolly voice to my fresh pipe,
And all the daughters of the year shall dance!
Sing now the lusty song of fruits and flowers.

"The narrow bud opens her beauties to
The sun, and love runs in her thrilling veins;
Blossoms hang round the brows of Morning, and
Flourish down the bright cheek of modest Eve,
Till clust'ring Summer breaks forth into singing,
And feather'd clouds strew flowers round her head.

"The spirits of the air live on the smells
Of fruit; and Joy, with pinions light, roves round
The gardens, or sits singing in the trees."
Thus sang the jolly Autumn as he sat;
Then rose, girded himself, and o'er the bleak
Hills fled from our sight; but left his golden load.

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P.S. I am now officially a freelance journalist!

...how he had gone somewhere without going

Cold, rainy day here in Vermont, but a beautiful warm light within makes it not matter so much. In fact, I am very much enjoying cuddling up by the fire with my Yerba Mate and a journal.

A lot has happened just in the past two days! I released a big, heavy block of emotion in NYC...left it at Penn Station and have been feeling free, vital, full of zest and ready to go ever since! Anatomy class keeps me busy, I begin working at Church & Main in a week, I am interviewing for a position as a freelance reporter at the local paper (kind of hilarious, but it'd be a sweet gig!), one other job interview at a cool place downtown and have managed to barter with a pilates studio downtown.... I clean their equipment once a week in turn for a free class every week. Score!

Beyond that, on Tuesday I chatted with the founder of the Ayurveda school in CA and it was incredibly inspiring and awesome. The man is so in tune with everything, very articulate, and clearly passionate about what he does. It got me extra pumped about school.

Aaaaaaand, more and more wonderful people keep entering my life and I am so grateful for that. Keep it comin'!

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Oh, I am also co-directing a holistic nutrition group in Burlington. More to come on that...pretty cool.

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If it were legal and at all considered normal, I think I would marry butternut squash. Yeah, the vegetable. So delish. Cannot get enough of this golden pod of magic that nature has given us. What fruit/vegetable would you have relations with....if possible? I mean.....you know what I mean, right? This isn't weird...

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Can you dig this? I can. Let in the white space, my friends.

“White space can be used in the design of our lives as well, not just the design of magazines and websites and ads. By using white space in our lives, we create space, balance, emphasis on what’s important, and a feeling of peace that we cannot achieve with a more cramped life.”

Life’s missing white space by Leo Babauta.

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Um, this is pretty great:


PAC-MAN was played by real human-beings sitting in a cinema: it’s the 5th video performance of the GAME OVER Project from the French-Swiss artist Guillaume Reymond. This stop-motion video was shot and played for the new ProHelvetia’s programme GameCulture at the Trafo cinema (Baden, Switzerland) on August 28th 2010. Imagine 111 human pixels that moved from seat to seat during more than 4 hours…



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Here's to the "crazy" ones...

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

— Apple Commercial, 1997

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Ok, now this is a cubical life I might warm up to. Designed by Dutch architecture firm Hofman Dujardin, the DLA Piper office is a playful space intended to accentuate the variations in sunlight throughout a typical working day. What does that mean? The side of the building that receives the most sunlight is balanced with cooler tones, while the side that receives the least is compensated with warm tones. Meanwhile, the giant gradient of carpet connects the four main meeting rooms, while also creating a simple and clear sense of orientation within the building. Oh, did someone out there just say "AWESOME!"? Yeah, I thought so.

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You see, the thing about me is, I don't care much about what kind of car I drive, how nice my clothes are, what the newest gadget is, etc. But when it comes to things like this....like a staple holder that makes the staple stacks look like high rise buildings? I need it. Really, I need it...I'm looking for my wallet right now. I will never be able to have staples crammed in a dark, lonely box again!

This concrete stand for the staples was brilliantly created by Shay Carmon


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And while we're on the subject of things I need, how about these kickass letter tiles? The typophile in me just did about sixteen (thousand) cartwheels

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I would like to do just about every D.I.Y. project on Design*Sponge. Thanks.

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Everything gets so green when it rains. The lobby of my brother's building smells like summer camp. There's paint chipping in the living room and it has formed an exclamation point. I'm slipping into journal mode and shall leave you with a lovely Billy Collins poem. xOM.

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The First Dream

by Billy Collins

The Wind is ghosting around the house tonight
and as I lean against the door of sleep
I begin to think about the first person to dream,
how quiet he must have seemed the next morning

as the others stood around the fire
draped in the skins of animals
talking to each other only in vowels,
for this was long before the invention of consonants.

He might have gone off by himself to sit
on a rock and look into the mist of a lake
as he tried to tell himself what had happened,
how he had gone somewhere without going,

how he had put his arms around the neck
of a beast that the others could touch
only after they had killed it with stones,
how he felt its breath on his bare neck.

Then again, the first dream could have come
to a woman, though she would behave,
I suppose, much the same way,
moving off by herself to be alone near water,

except that the curve of her young shoulders
and the tilt of her downcast head
would make her appear to be terribly alone,
and if you were there to notice this,

you might have gone down as the first person
to ever fall in love with the sadness of another.

Billy Collins

Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

by Noah Eli Gordon

Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.
I'd give you another day dizzy
in its bracket for the reluctant circumference
of a sad sad satellite's antiquated orbital stoppage.
You can't jump with a lead foot, can't
anthropomorphize insect anticipation, can't
pixelate postcard nostalgia, can't
trace a boy's tiny hand and call him
king of anything that crosses your path, your past,
your iconographic reluctance to let go the toehold
of ordinary New York lasting so long at night, so
lusty in traffic & another orphan absently
kicking the underside of an orange plastic chair.
Poems shouldn't make you wait for them to finish.
Like love, they should finish making you wait.

9th street message (!)

I love little notes from the Universe (or anonymous French graffiti artist wannabe) like this!

Found on a rainy Sunday afternoon

Even the smallest soul could swim the English Channel in that time

...hope you all enjoyed last night's new moon and sent some authentic and beautiful manifestations out into the vast and gracious Universe!

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I am in the midst of studying Anatomy/Physiology for the class I am taking and I just gotta say: I LOVE IT! I was such a biology nerd in high school and I kind of let that part of me collect dust over the following years...but the dust is comin' off, baby. It's like learning a new language, a new science, a new look on life! Once I have this knowledge in my pocket (after 2 semesters), I'll be prepped for Ayurveda school and ready to drink in even more info.

What a glorious life <3

Speaking of Ayurveda school...still trying to narrow the schools down. Debating between going to a place in California or heading right to India. Will be speaking with local practitioners throughout the next couple of months and will be able to make a decision later. Exciting!

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Made loads of apple bars the other day. They came out very well and people close to me are reaping the benefits of my baking frenzy! Because I am on this cleanse (which is feeling amazing, by the way), others are the consumers of my creations. Which is fun for me too...although OH how I want a bite of those bars! I already have a running list of things I must consume on day #1 after the cleanse. First two things on the list are: coffee and avocado bubble tea. Yes, please!

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NYC tomorrow through Tuesday. It'll be my first visit since I moved away in May. I am so excited to see friends, old and new, to visit MOMA, wander the blackened streets, and soak up the vibes (only the good ones, though!). I'm sure it'll feel a bit weird, too.....as mentioned in earlier posts, New York holds a very unique place in my heart and thoughts of it stir up both joy and pain. So, will let you know how it felt to return for a few days.

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The weather here is officially Autumn-esque! Ohhhhhh how I am loving it. Boots, crazy-colored tights, skirts, layered tops, scarves, cardigans...I love how Fall fashion invites you to be creative and fun with your pieces. Good stuff. Oh, splurged a bit on a new pair of dark brown short Frye boots yesterday. Obviously an awesome and even necessary purchase.

The leaves are already changing a bit and the hikes have been so refreshing and cleansing. Every day I am in awe of our Earth.

Eagerly awaiting pumpkin carving season...

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I have some cool new findings and such to share with you, but for now I have to get back to this gigantic text book in front of me (I swear it weighs 10 lbs) and then deliver batches of apple bars to various lucky apartments.

Sending love to you all

xOMxOM

VT Rainbow

Can you see it?! This was taken on the way back from the mountain yesterday <3

Mt. Philo

I think I have been up Mt. Philo at least a million and a half times.....today I went on a whim with two of my faves and it was just stunning, as always. Doesn't matter how many times you've seen it. Each day presents a new side of beauty. Wish I could get this pic to show up larger! 'Twas taken with an iPhone so maybe that's the issue (?)

Did Camel's Hump a couple of days ago. Was also beautiful and a very fun hike. Will have to share a funny pic from that in a bit.

I hope you all enjoyed your lazy Sunday...

[oh, P.S. Dear Federer, I saw your match the other day and am still very much into you. Your game is on fire! Thanks. Love, Julia]

Whatever you like

Really into this song right now....the message is pretty sketch, but I am digging everything else about it

Time Spot

[title of this post is taken from a poem that my very talented friend, H. Wainhouse, wrote. Maybe one day he'll let me post his works on my blog...]

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Just dropped the little bro (ok, not so little anymore) off at the airport. ::sigh:: Not to be a total cheese ball, but I really am such a proud sister. He's off to Peru for the 3rd time, in search of something that many of us are too afraid to confront. He's a wise soul, a warrior of light, and a beautiful open heart. By seeing how he processes things and moves through life, I am gently reminded to use my heart as my compass, and to listen to those feelings within...no matter how crazy they seem. So, good luck with everything, Ange, I love you, and I'll see you in three weeks.

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I continue, almost daily, to meet and re-connect with the coolest people here in VT. LOVING IT. Thank you, Universe! How lucky we all are...

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Thanks to K.R. for this great commencement speech by David Foster Wallace. Good stuff.

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In the midst of moving, I found old videos of me dancing! I obviously dropped everything and dedicated the next couple hours to watching them. It's so funny how I simultaneously feel so disconnected from the person on the screen and yet, feel like nothing has changed. Life! What mystery. Anyway, so nice to have these on hand now and I am working on getting them onto my hard drive and possibly posting a couple short videos.

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Today marks day #1 of my experience with the Clean Cleanse. This is a very harmonious 21-day detox cleanse that basically resets your body (more specifically, the body's detoxification center). This is an elimination cleanse, meaning you eliminate anything from your diet that you could possibly be allergic to and, after 21 days, slowly begin to integrate everything back in. Through this process you become aware of any food sensitivities you may have.

All you need is the book, a blender, and a genuine desire to be a more whole, healthier you...on all levels.

Ancient cultures were acutely aware of the need for the body's digestive track to get breaks. Simple things like giving your body a 12 hour fasting window between dinner and breakfast, fasting one day per week, etc. were part of their habitual lives. In today's society, we are eating almost constantly, throwing back "food" that our body can barely compute because it is so far from anything natural, always on the go, and tossing our blood sugar levels all over the place.....causing us to eat more (yet again) and at weird hours of the day.

This cleanse urges you to resume normal eating times (breakfast when sun rises......dinner before sun fall....very similar of Ayurvedic practices), and to eat only real food. Through this process, people return to their truly healthy state, they begin to glow, have surges of energy they never knew were buried deep in there, heal emotionally, etc. etc.

Here's a bit from the website/book:

How many of us can honestly say we do not suffer from at least one of the following:

. Colds or viruses each year
. Allergies or hay fever
. Restless nights
. Recurrent indigestion, constipation, or irritable bowel syndrome
. Itchy skin, acne, or any other troubling skin condition
. Depression, anxiety, or frequent fatigue

If you were to seek medical advice for any of the above, you would likely be prescribed pills, topical lotions, injections, or even surgery. Such treatments are used to manage the symptoms and do not address the root of the problem. Too often, doctors treat these common ailments as inevitable costs of living a modern life. The result is a patchwork approach to health care that has become the norm.

In Clean, a New York City cardiologist and a leader in the field of integrative medicine, Dr. Alejandro Junger offers a major medical breakthrough. Dr. Junger argues that the majority of these common ailments are the direct result of toxic buildup in our systems accumulated through the course of our daily lives. As the toxicity of modern life increases and disrupts our systems on a daily basis, bombarding us through our standard American diet and chemical-filled environments, our ability to handle the load hasn’t accelerated at the same rapid pace. The toxins are everywhere, but Clean offers a solution.

Clean is an M.D.’s program that provides all the tools necessary to support and reactivate our detoxification system to its fullest capabilities, and can be easily incorporated into a busy schedule. The effect is transformative: nagging health problems will suddenly disappear, extra weight will drop away, and for the first time in our lives we will experience what it truly means to feel healthy.

Every day spent on the Clean program is a major step in healing not just the symptom but the root of the problem, effectively and simply. Dr. Junger’s life-changing program restores what rightfully belongs to you—your health, vitality, and peace of mind.

...very cool, huh? I started today and will be doing it with a group of people here in Burlington. I am a true believer in the idea that only once you have a healthy body can you heal/progress emotionally and mentally. So, this is phase one! Looking forward to re-activating the true powers of my detox system and seeing how I feel once this really gets going.

I do love my food and I am already mourning the loss of three weeks of wine/beer and exotic dinners. But 3 weeks really isn't that long, and if this is potentially life-changing....hey, I'm game!

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It is so so hot here....going to go hop on my bike and meet a friend for a [non-alcoholic] beverage.

biz biz biz

I am jaded no more

But I should thank you for
Taking my blindfold off now
I ain't jaded no more, no more
And I take pride in being the one that said goodbye
That could only mean I am me, once more

This is good for your ears

Stumbled upon this playlist I made a while ago.....I'm enjoying listening to it on shuffle mode. If you listen, I hope it brings you happiness.

The power of music is grand, eh? In a matter of 30 min I was transported back to high school, NYC, college, good times, challenging times, happy times, funny times, lonely times, etc. Beautiful.