"Beauty by Mistake"-- the final phase in the history of beauty

I had one of those toss, turn, twist, open, close, on, off, hot, cold, noisy, silent nights last night. I don't think I actually fell asleep until 4:30AM. Usually I fall asleep fairly quickly and remain in my comfy cloud, cozy 'til the sun seeps through my shades.

Anyway, as awful and annoying as it was, there was one cool thing. Or, observation. I noticed that every 20 minutes or so, I would begin to slip into a dream state, or the Alpha State. What was interesting is this (and I have been aware of this for years, this is just the first time I am processing/analyzing it):

My consciousnesses (let's say two: conscious and subconscious) slipped into a very unique state as I stepped back as a quiet, detached voyeur. The only way I can think to describe the parts of my consciousness is as a venn diagram. [see above]

It's like I was watching myself slip into a dream. Both consciousnesses were functioning autonomously, in a way, yet were acutely aware of the beginnings of their interaction. Still not making sense? Basically, I would be lying on my back, or side, or stomach, or upside down, or on the floor, eyes closed....thinking. Thinking normal thoughts: I hope I remembered to set my alarm. I wonder what that humming noise is. I should get some real window shades one of these days. And so on...

THEN, this is when the venn diagram (ish) thing comes into play. I am guessing R.E.M. kicked in and suddenly these sentences in my mind began to morph. Things like this would effortlessly float through my mind. I would take subtle notice of them, but they, like the other sentences, seemed normal. Phrases like this (and these are a few thing I actually remember from last night): Make sure the elephants have their rollerblades. The yellow chick fuzz is covering the pebble-filled beach. Fairies go to the grocery store to get cartons of milk.

Messed up, right? You can imagine how my dreams are one they're in full swing. Anyway, after several of these utterly nonsensical group of words (accompanied by lovely images that I truly wish I could show you), my consciousness (lurking in the back, aware of how odd these sentences are, but allowing them to flow) would take over the subconscious, my eyes would roll back into "seeing position", lids would open and I would be left staring at the ceiling thinking: "What? Elephants and rollerblades? Mice swimming through peanut butter rivers?" [I think the last one was triggered by the fact that I had peanut butter M&Ms before bed and as I laid down I recalled the fact that people are supposed to avoid peanut butter products like that due to the recent outbreak of Salmonella Typhimurium...oops]

What's my point? That was it. I don't really have one...but it is pretty amazing to catch yourself in the ellipse in the middle of that venn diagram, where you can somewhat consciously watch your crazy subconscious mind. Am I alone here?

Anyone, anyone?

::cricket......cricket::

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I had a very interesting encounter today with a very important woman, but will describe that another time.

Did you know that Yorkie dogs were bred specifically to kill rats? I guess I am behind the times on this. According to the beautiful Abigail Miller, everybody knows that. It is common knowledge. Well, well, maybe I'm just not so common! Humph!

Then Abs asked me to tell her a story, and I did. I thought it was pretty great. Then it ended. "That story sucked," Abigail whined, "there was no conflict." Apparently finding a fire-breathing dragon in one's fridge isn't conflictual enough for her. Not only that! Later in my magnificently-woven tale, the protagonist, Plain Jane, happens to meet up with the dragon again and is scorched by flames and has to walk back to her apartment with nothing but the black, burnt shreds of her clothes covering her body. Oh, but, you know...no conflict. GEEZ, Abs!

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What immortal hand or eye,
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?